Tips From A Mother To Her Daughter

I , a tiny housefly , was sitting on a wallof the Sharma household....I thanked my stars later when I got to know the fate met by of one of my kin who happened to cross paths with the U.S. President yesterday!!!!!!!!. Anyways the Sharma household was bursting with so many things happenning all around ...it was their daughter's marriage, two days from now.Himani, the bride to be ,was ofcourse the centre of all attention. This time of the evening she particularly was feeling a very deep sense of love and pull for her mother. She found her mother making some notes in the bedroom ..she quietly shut the door ,went up to her mom,taking away the diary she lay down putting her head on her lap.Little did the mother and daughter duo know of my presense there and to my luck I got to hear some amazing insights of life.

Himani's mom kissed her daughter and lovingly traced her long hair . Both of them could feel the purity and intensity of the bond that lay between them ...all the conflicts , disagreements, fights over the past years had receeded somewhere deep down the past .. they were just engulfed with a very deep and powerful understanding of love that existed between them.Himani turned and asked ,''Mom, what are the things that you would suggest I remember as I enter the most important phase of my life?'' Himani's mom smiled and thought of the times that she would be dismissed as backward and conservative....by this very child of hers. and now she was asking for her suggestions....Sensing the genuine interest in her daughter's voice Mrs. Sharma felt good. Her daughter was then interested in wanting to enter this new phase armed with all the knowledge and wisdom that she could and that she relied for that on her mother.....

I too got interested in the conversation now. Mrs Sharma said,''I can tell you of the things that I have learnt and practised myself in life ,sweetie. If you give it a patient and open understanding I think you will make life a lot meaningful for yourself and for the man who you are going to start a new life with. I will give my views in different points form .''

So was Mrs. Sharma going to teach Science?

'' Well beta , enter into marriage with complete faith in the institution. Only then you will work to make it beautiful.''

''Take up complete responsibility for your part of the relationship ,unconditionally. You should not be doing your part all the time weighing the others' doings for that would affect your part for sure. ''

''Next comes the acceptance of the relationship....meaning that you have set on to build your life together with your partner , by choice and marriage seals that choice. No comparing , no trying to change the other to match you should be there...for where there is love ...followed by acceptance you would happily want to change things in your own self to match rather than expecting your partner to do so for you.''

''Then what about my husband loving me .and changing for me?''quipped in Himani..

''He will do it by himself and if you love someone you understand the differences too and you want to go out of your way to please that person...dont you?''said her Mom.

This was getting interesting for me for Mrs Sharma seemed to be putting all the responsibility of working on the relationship on her daughter. Was that being fair?

''When you practise honest love, then may be it takes time, but it reaches out to your loved one.If the other person is somehow not doing his bit and you too retaliate by not doing yours ,you end up doubly harming the relationship . In turn you end up spoiling your own happiness...for anything that you do will at the end affect you,right?''

Himani nodded thoughtfully...

Her Mom went on..''Never never judge people...at least never judge the ones who will somehow affect your own happiness,directly or indirectly.For once judged negatively you magnify your own troubles for everything after that is built up on that brick of negativity. ''

So what if I do not agree to something Mom? Should I just be a slave and shut off my mind?''

''Never,beta. Handling any disagreement the right way is what is fruitful and makes life meaningful. Ofcourse there would be disagreements ...havent we had so many of them ? So what did we do ? We talked...we asked questions to each other ...and all this because we wanted to understand each other . Judging is the easiest beta, but as all easy things in life , is the most dangerous. It slowly eats up relationships , eats up the happiness like termites and you cant even see ,till the crumbled pieces of the relationships fall in front of you like the termite infested walls. Trying to understand people, really , is not easy ...it takes years may be but the rewards are enormous...unparalled and so so satisfying. This wisdom and understanding fetches you happiness and respect ....in their true sense.''

''But Mom does it really work?''

''A hundred percent beta, only this works...no amount of money , gifts or anything that is materialistic can remotely compensate for this wisdom and patience beta.''

''O.K Mom, how does one know that she is going right with her relationships?''

''When you see your relationships are blooming , spreading and that is making you truely happy ,that is the test beta...for you may try to do certain things, against your wishes, unwillingly, to try to make people happy but that would not work as you would end up being unhappy yourself .''

''So it means anything that I do for my happiness should be right?

''yes if your happiness is making your loved ones really happy then that's it ...you've tasted love.''

'' People are all calling out to us Himani , lets go out ...we will continue with this conversation again tonight for I want to tell you a few more things that I feel are important.''

''Right Mom ,let's go ...wished we could have spoken earlier.''

''No beta you learn to cross the bridge when you are on it ...the fact that you want to learn is enough.''

Mrs. Sharma hugged her daughter and they left to join the others.

I decided to stay back for I wanted to get to hear the remaining part of the conversation at night.....