Monday, December 28, 2009

You Before I

We just returned from a trip to Hyderabad. It was a family trip with my not so young parents along. we had a great time together and thankfully both of them coped as well as enjoyed the trip to the fullest. We were there for a week and went around almost all the tourist places. The Ramoji city , Salarjung Museum, Chaar Minar , etc etc.all of them justified to be such popular tourist spots. I liked the city but what won my heart were it's people. I have been to various places in the country but something that set this place apart from the rest is the affection in the heart of it's people. Every where without exception I saw people going out of the way to lend a supportive hand to the elderly . They did this naturally , smilingly and very gently. I saw people holding the hands of my parents while ascending and descending stairs, leaving place for them to sit , giving special entry everywhere.

I have not seen this behaviour anywhere else . I failed to attribute a reason to it. I tried to think of many factors - geographical, cultural climate ,nothing fitted in logically. I shuddered at my thinking with the North South factor also playing in my mind but I did not find a satisfactory answer.

What ever it is I wish we all understand the magical beauty of serving others. This quality brings in love and happiness to the giver as well as the doer. As they say what ever you give comes around multiplied many times. If only for this ,we all learn to always put YOU before the I life will definetely be so much more beautiful.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

The Home Maker

Pramath and Ellango were school day friends.The duo was inseperable,much to their Parent's annoyance. They had sort of similar interests and all they cared was to be with each other. Understandably so for they were teenagers. The phase is characterised by rushing adrenalin leading to hot headedness. Both the boys were very sweet and affectionate but had one basic difference-their family background was completely different. Pramath had a very beautiful family that knew nothing but love where as Ellango was unfortunate to have a complicated family. He was deeply affected by this that reflected in his actions and his studies got terribly affected.

Ellango went through a very troublesome childhood . He could not finish his studies ,left home and started working what ever he could lay his hands on. He had the fighter spirit and lady luck seemed to smile on him and he fell in love with a pretty girl named Smriti. Smriti came into Ellango's life and filled it with love and happiness. She slowly even succeeded to bridge the gap between him and his parents to a large extent. They started communicating,meeting and the family grew. Ellango was what he had never thought to be .a happy family man. Smriti had given back to him his parents,sister and the rest of the family.

Pramath finished his education ,started working and also fell in love with a nice girl namedTrishna. He told his parents about her and they were too happy to fulfill his wish . Pramath and Trishna got married and were blessed by both the families.Both were working and stayed away from their parents.After a year Trishna took up another job and moved to another city. Soon after she demanded a separation from Pramath.They got separated by mutual consent and went their ways.
I know both Pramath and Ellango. I have been knowing them for years. I was very upset for Pramath and on asking the reasons for separation I was told that Trishna wanted space. She did not want inteference. She hated her mother in law for giving suggestions etc etc.
I have been thinking . What did these words actually mean? Is it not possible to have a standard definition for words ?I believe that it takes two to make a relationship. Each one of us has our own set of people whom we love and want in our lives . Marriage should not mean replacement of our relationships. Marriage should bring families closer,should increase thecircumference of the field housing our loved ones not slice them off to possess my partner alone.It is so foolish to do when the more people you love the more are you loved. Is this not a very simple equation? Why is it that girls become unwise and cut off the very strings of love that are holding them ,nurturing them and pampering them, in the name of independance,space and freedom?
Smriti gave her partner what he never had -his family . Trishna wanted to take away what Pramath always had- his family.

Who is happy? Smriti- who is loved more for giving her man his loved ones. Trishna is independant ,free but ALONE.

Smriti is thus The Home Makerand Trishna The Home Breaker.
I pray that girls, in their strive to independance, always remember the meaning,importance and beauty of the place we call HOME.

Friday, December 11, 2009

India, The Land Of Colours

We were at Jaipur to attend a three day conference.It was an international gathering and people from various parts of the world were present. The whole day would go attending seminars, presentations etc and the evenings were the party times. The participants were there with their spouses so it was a big group.
Every evening was a different theme, representing different parts of India. The first evening was Rajasthan. They had the traditional Elephant welcome,the folk songs being sung by the artists,the beautiful Rangolis made here and there,everything looked beautiful.They had those local dances and fire play which really filled the guests with wonder. Specially the people from other nationalities were taking in everything ,eyes wide open.
The next evening was North India ,with potters , snake charmers variety of food and even a Parrot man ,the fortune teller.

The third evening was South Indian,with its typical food, style a nd flavour. All the participants were asked to be traditionally dressed on all days and the whole atmosphere was quite festive. Everyone enjoyed the evenings thoroughly. I asked a few of the guests that what did they like the most and what did they feel was very different from else where.
I was pleasantly surprised by their answers. Uninamously they all said,''COLOURS''. We have never seen so many colours ever before.'' I realised that how strange it is that the things we take for granted are the ones that amaze others. I looked around and yes my eyes took in all the colours dancing around . Colourful lights, colourful dresses ,colourful chairs ,every thing that my eyes chanced upon was a riot of colours. This colour is depicted in our life style through our songs ,dances and even food.
My heart could burst with the swell of pride for my country.
India ,the land of colours . The Incredible India.

Friday, December 4, 2009

The Utter Confusion

I love train journeys. Last week end on my way to Pune, I chanced upon a very interesting conversation between three girls,in their early twenties. I gatheredthat some friend of their's had got recently married and so the right age for marriage was the topic for discussion. Each of them had her own view but what came across was the fierce will to be independant. Nothing wrong in that at all but I found confusion in understanding independance. One said she believed in Tit for Tat,so everything between her and her spouse would be equal. One said that she would make it very clear that she will never live with her in laws,etc.etc.

The conversation set me thinking. These sweet girls had so much in their minds .What had led to such a state where one had to lay down so many conditions? Had life really become so monitered?Were emotions being thrown out of one's life?

I visualised the olden days where women were exploited. The exploitation reached such levels that the women revolted and pointed at Lack Of Education to be the root cause for the pathetic plight of women. So educating women started. So far she was only a house wife and a mother ,who was probably so for she had no other options. She was financially dependant on her man so she could not dare to look out for options too. With education the woman got her financial independance and with that the revolutionary change that happened with her was the Power Of Choice that she lay her hands on. In an attempt to prove her an equal to man, she went out and out and won laurels in almost all fields. Woman was equal and in many places even superior to man now. She had made her mark in a man's world.

With this equal status ,gone with the winds is the age old concept of the Division Of Labour. Now there is nothing that is a gender specific job. Any one is supposed to do anything and everything and this empowering is leading to the extinction of the basic simple way of life.Now the changes that I see are-
House keeping is not meant to be done by is sort of looked down upon.
House keeping includes- cooking, washing ,cleaning etc etc all that a woman would always take pride in,are of begotten days.
Visiting people in their houses is a down trend ,if at all we meet ,we meet at public places.
Houses are only luxurious apartments to provide for a bed to sleep.
The list could be endless but the crux of the matter isthat, woman in trying to empower herself against the wrongs being done to them, has become almost a man,except for the biological difference of course.So the jobs which were the forte of woman earlier complementing their biology,have taken a beating.

God had made man and woman to complement each other in every way . To fight the wrong done by man in earlier days ,woman has ,in competition, switched over to the man's side leaving a big void in her own sphere. Man is trying to interchange roles too ,to keep pace with the marching woman but he needs God to help him in this .Biologically the thoughts and hence the actions of a woman cannot be acquired by a man ,much as he is trying and I am sure God is seriously pondering over this issue to rethink about reshaping Adam and Eve.

My heart goes out to these girls who are burning themselves off in the name of independance. Any form of extreme is never desirable. Moderation and thoughtful ness always pay good dividends in life. We get Life once. What ever we choose to do should give us a holistic happiness. Anything else should be meaningless.