Wednesday, February 24, 2010

A Happy Couple ??????

''I have never seen a Happy Couple in my life'' wrote Sonu Nigam , the well known singer,that got published in the papers a few days back.
Do you have happy couples? Or do you have people who may be known to be happy couples?
No one can be happy every moment of his /her life and that does not classify him to be unhappy . We all have happy moments in our lives. People who are aware and work towards it , cherish these moments and try to have more of them ,as a result have more and more such moments in their lives classifying to be happy . Most of the people nurture the not so happy moments and as a result succeed in having the same piled into their lives and they classify to be unhappy .
You always can give and spread what you have-so you can see and feel happiness only if you have it ,want it. When you are only looking for unhappiness or in other words you are not happy with what you have you get unhappiness and the world looks unhappy to you.
Each life has its fair share of ups and downs. We can nurture the goods ,be grateful for what ever we have at the same time trying to better ourselves,instead of cursing the world and victimising self. That does not mean we do not work for more ,it only means we work for more AFTER we accept what we have with gratitude. This acceptance gives us strength to move forward . If we keep on rejecting what we have ,very shortly we will be left with NOTHING .
Accepting ,respecting and nurturing the present has a higher probability of a happy and satisfied future.
The world looks happy and we get to see many happy couples only if we are happy .
Dear Sonu ,with so much talent , achievement,a nice wife ,a cute child you talk of Death and unhappiness. I wish and pray you get the sense to value what all you have instead of throwing away your present happiness in want for MORE.
Yes Death is inevetible but everything seems proper at the right time and talking can not usher in that time for us so it would be better if we could find beauty in LIFE while living and can appreciate Death when it comes.

Monday, February 22, 2010

I before We

Technology is progressing in Leaps and Bounds and Man is being swept off his feet. We are choosing machines over humans in our lives and no wonder we are increasingly getting closer to the former and farther from the later.

No doubt communication has been redifined unbelievably. We have the access to the world. We can reach out to the poles and share our thoughts views and beliefs. Anything and everything seems to be communicable in an instant.We laugh and cry with the world. We are moved at the slightest of misfortune, angry at every injustice, are ready to fight for a global cause-all thanks to technology.I feel happy seeing this mass euphoria that I may call it and many things are put right because of the mass attention. I feel at times that man has evolved or is evolving to our age old mantra of-Vasudev Kutumbkam- but I have certain doubts that I dont find answers to.

Man ,who is evolving to the higher forms of humanity ,by making the world its home ...why is failing to keep his own small home intact and happy? Why are we more into social service leaving our own families to be taken care by such organisations ? How is it that we have widened our sphere of communication to such impressive limits but have not succeeded in nurturing a good healthy communication with our very close ones?How is that our increasing intolerance to our family, friends converting to tolerance for understanding the larger problems of the world?

At times I feel we are playing a very foolish game. By feeding ourselves with larger issues and believing ourselves to be capable and designed to tackle them ,we are losing what we already have. We fail to work on our relationships ,blame them curse them and run away from them . But run away to where and to whom? To the world which is face less and to the people who we do not know. How can our intolerance change to tolerance for others ? It can never. So we keep fooling ourselves in thinking that we are doing great shakes in our lives, talking of big things and rising above the petty bindings.

What happens then? We are lonely , we are stressed and we are unhappy.

So does it mean that we only remain selfish ?

Yes we must be selfish in its purest form . We must be good to ourselves. Please do not forget the word Good. It means being true to oneself. Doing our own jobs to the best of our capabilities. Making our families happy by working and nurturing relationships. We have to work on the I first before we go to the WE .

The more number of people accept this ,understand this and practise this easy and simple funda of life,more beautiful and meaningful Life would become. There would be more joy and happiness instead of the words like stress, nervous breakdown and disappointments.

Let all the I's ,the happy I's very naturally unite to make a happy We.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Talking Grief

''Pooja, there is a sad news-Monica has lost her child. She 's had a miscarriage yesterday night.''spoke Akarsh to his wife. Monica was going through a difficult pregnancy and was confined

'to bed for the last four months. Sadly she had to lose it thought Pooja.

''Are you going to see her today?''asked Pooja

''I want to but Im not sure. The others here in the office very strongly believe that she should be left to herself and we should go only after some days. What do you feel I should do Pooja?'' Monica worked in the same organisation as Akarsh.

Pooja paused for a moment and said ''Id go if I were you. ''

''Wouldnt that be intruding on one's privacy in an awkward situation?'' asked Akarsh thoughtfully.

'' May be , may be not . I choose to go for the may be not option. I feel reaching out to our close ones at the time of grief is essential on our part. If this is not taken very nicely by the concerned person we can always apologize and back out ,without feeling guilty about it and if you decide to go Id like to go with you .''replied Pooja.

''O.K. then lets go in the evening.''

Both of them reached the hospital where Monica was admitted. They went straight to her room,knocked and went in.Monica smiled at them . They went and sat near her and held her hand . She just started talking of how the day was the saddest in her life. How she did not know what to do to ease the pain ,how much she was looking forward to holding her baby and on and on she went. She has a very loving husband who was also talking so naturally about the whole thing that it was amazing how such sad things ,such personal things could be spoken of so naturally . Pooja and Akarsh stayed there for some time then took leave leaving Monica to rest . Monica and her husband thanked them for coming and expressed their appreciation for the thoughtfulness.

On their way back Akarsh and Pooja discussed that how nice it was that they had gone to see Monica and that their going had done her some good. They realised that may be Talking Grief is the best way of dealing with it. We try to suppress grief, hide grief with various justifications but talking grief is dealing with it head on and so is the most effective.

Talking Grief not only helps the sufferer but also strengthens the bonds between their close ones. Grief brings people closer and talking grief also causes the least damage .

Monica had really shown them how easily you can talk grief.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

A Simple Truth

''Hey Simran your advice did work wonders. I have been able to put a stop to my weight gain,though I have to still shed off quiet a few more but what I am happy about is that I have understood the simple equation that you were discussing the last time that we met some months back.''Said Prateek ,all smiles to Simran.

''what is this that you are talking about?''turned Rohan''do I hear a weight check?''

''I was discussing my crazy working hours and that how it was impossible to continue with the games that I couldnt keep up with any more and then Simran said some very few simple things. I could not follow all of them but I have started with a few and it works. ''said Prateek .

''O.K. you are now a physical trainer or something or what ? Jokes apart can we hear your thoughts on this weight problem issue''Said Divya.

Simran was feeling embarressed but the topic was on and everyone really wanted her to speak.

She mustered all her courage for she knew that she was neither a trained trainor nor a dietician. Still she spoke out her simple thoughts.

Simran started.''These are what I have come to believe through understanding. Any body may or may not agree to them and I am open to any thing contradictory if it is backed by logic .

See it is simple

what ever we eat is digested and is used up for the work that we do ...The unused food gets deposited as fats ..which means to prevent this deposition we need to work more.

When we fail to utilize this unused food we start decreasing our intake. That is fine to some extent but we forget that food provides for many other essentials in our body ,that also get decreased in our body . The natural nutrients can not be substituted by pills...

So then we start work outs ,gyms, and it works ....but only for the time that they are practsed. Now with today's crazy scedules many a days we just cannot go to the gym..then we feel stressed. We move away socially because we do not have time.''

''So is gymming bad?''

''Do we realize that we by our choice work to accumulate fat and then work to get rid of the fat ?''


'' By taking ourselves away from any form of physical work. The fatter we become lesser the time to work for we need more time to work out?Every little job is shunned and done away with. A mind that shuns physical work will always have this problem of weight.''

''Instead if we do not shun physical work and do as much as possible eagerly ,happily and willingly then automatically our movements will change. we will be able to do so many small small things that will bring us happiness ...bring others happiness and more importantly we will be working out through the day naturally not artificially. I see so many young mothers in the gardens with maids carrying their children, their bags and everything ....we also had children but we always carried them ourselves ,tended to all their needs ourselvesalong with the rest of the house work cooking and everything with regular guests here and there. We did that because we never placed mental work above physical . We believed and practised in giving equal importance to both and so with all that physical work we got pleasure , nurtured relationships ,cared for others and never ever felt burdened. In today's times I feel, we need to make efforts to be as close with our families as possible by being there , feeling for them ,doing things for them and once we can get ourselves into the love work mode from the hate work mode our lives will change.We will not enslave our lives with luxuries but would always be strong ,self reliant and raring to go .''

''We must understand and practise Dignity of Labour''

''As for Prateek I had told him the same things like walk when ever you can...ban the lift....avoid home deliveries out for the errands yourself ...thats it ..I m happy that he has understood the concept and that it is working for him...I do not mean to offend anyone by my views ..everyone has the right to their's ...I just expressed mine and all of that I have always practised in my life ...

enough of all this folks come lets have dinner''

Monday, February 15, 2010

Dadu's story

'' I have to tell you a Dadu's story today'' said Mrs Khanna to her husband while sitting for breakfast. ''Dadu's story? Dadu meant grandfather , so what story has mother to tell now?'' thought Smriti getting ready for work. It was a normal morning where her mother had come back after spending 2 hrs in the park ...walking doing some yoga and also a bit of chatting .

''There is this old man I have been seeing for the past few days ,who comes to the park with an empty pram. Poor thing he has a grandchild whom he has brought for all these years ,bringing him to the park,playing with him and suddenly one day his son has gone away to another country taking his son along. The dadu does not know what to do and has lost his mental balance . He has not been able to give up his routine and now he comes with the empty pram, parks it aside takes his rounds , does his free hand excercises and in about 2 hrs wheels out the empty pram back home. Poor Dadu heart went out to him ..but this is the fate of all dadus ,isnt it? The grandchildren grow up in their hands and walk ahead leaving them alone alone...why do the old people have to be so unfortunate?''stopped Mrs Khanna after this emotional outburst . ''One minute Mom''said Smriti'' how did you get to know the details ? Did you ask the man?''
''How stupid ? How can you ask such things?''said Mimmy
''Then some body who knows him would have told you. right?'' asked Smriti
''Does anyone need to tell this story? Isnt it so obvious Smriti?''
''Hold on Mom..obvious?Do you mean to say that you have gueesed the WHOLE story?''
''I do not understand what you are trying to say Smriti?''
''Mom please ask someone tomorrow about the man and you may just get to know the truth.''
''what truth?''
''Mom there could be so many explanations. He could just be taking the child to some play group or creche or any where just try checking it out please?''
The next morning Mrs Knanna returned from the park with an embaressed look.
''Smriti I waited for some time today and I saw him taking the pram to the adjacent building from where he took a cute boy and wheeled him back home . But tell me how would I know that anything like this could also be the case? I saw him with the empty pram and ...

''and thought about the saddest thing that can happen mom? Why mom could you not think of some happy story?''said Smriti thoughtfully...

why does man always think for ,fear for look for unhappiness and unhappiness alone ? and they look for it so desperately that they get it?
Why do we always even imagine ourselves to be victims of the circumstances...
why do we glorify misfortunes?
why do we only pity ourselves?
Does man not learn in life that he will find what he looks for so if he really looks for happiness he will find it everywhere .
How sad Mrs and Mr Khanna are blessed with a family ...a complete family and still they are writing a Dadu's story....a sad Dadu's story...