Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Strength and Acceptance

Man ,essentially a social animal lives life through multiple relationships-some by blood and some by choice. Needless to say ,Parents,children, siblings fall in the blood relation catagory where as Friends, spouse ,partners, work companions etc sort of fall in the choice one.It is amazing though that most of the blood relationships end up being longer terms than the choice ones.How?Do they match better?But they are so full of differences. So how do they survive better than the ones we claim to choose ourselves? How is it that we nurture our blood relations inspite of numerous differences and refuse to tolerate the same or even some fraction of it in our other relationships?

The reason is ACCEPTANCE. We take them to be already ours and so find it difficult to let them go where as in the ones of our choice we look for IDEALISM.  We want things in our partners that are absent in our own blood relations . The total absence in one is completely acceptable,where it is a prerequisite in other.We love some with all his /her shortcomings, bur deplore the same in others. Why do we practise such double standards?

I ,personally prefer ACCEPTANCE  over IDEALISM, for I believe Life is all about shaping it with your own hands to the best of your own capability,within your resources,rather than spending most of the life in trying to find the ideal resources. Acceptance gives life a direction ,otherwise it may just be too many colours splashed over the canvas without any formation or meaning.It needs strength to build with what ever you have and so you always cling to it, nurture it.

I just read a poem 'I sit and look out' by Walt Whitman.The poet claims to be an individualistic. He presents himself as an observer-a silent observer to all the problems and miseries of mankind that he sees around. He admits to have not done anything about it and hence does not want to preach.But what is the use of being an observer if it is a silent one? What is the point of having the sensitivity to feel misery of others  yet be inactive to do something to lessen the same?

Anything that we have has value only if put to use,else is meaningless.The joy of shaping our own life makes it precious and indeed is unparalleled. All we need is the conviction of self and faith in the good.That gives us the resiliense and belief to make life beautiful.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Unpardonable Crime

Chicken adraki, tangri kebabs,shahi paneer,gobhi musallum and masala bhindi sat in their respective bowls,simmering in the heat and I was doing up the salad. Almost everything was done but that almost word is so dangerous. It never seems to let you go. My husband returned from the eye doctor and I hurriedly handed him the glass of pana,before I put myself to the plate of the greens, reds and yellows. How easy it would be before...salad meant cut round onoins.tomatoes and cucumber,with a sprinkle of salt and a squeeze of lime juice. Now you have to put so much of that tiny brain to work even for a plate of salad. No I should not complain as I have made that choice myself.

''I have to go for a scan, the Dr. said'' preparing to leave my husband said. ''He needs them to pin point the problem''. '' what problem? Does he apprehend something serious?''I looked up with the knife in my hand. ''I think so''muttered my husband and left along with our daughter for the test center.
I plunged back into work ,that could not be left just like that . We were having twenty five people over for dinner that evening and much as I had planned the work ,time seemed to be running past.

  Armed with the scans little did I know about the bomb shell that was awaiting ,when we met at the Dr' s after a couple of hours.

There was a retinal detachment in the left eye of my husband.
An immediate surgery was the remedy. It being a saturday evening ,we had to wait till Monday morning,and our Dr. ,on whom we relied completely,had made the necessary arrangements for the same.

 We returned home in a daze. We discussed the situation as a family and realised that we had to do nothing much but wait.
 Our eye Dr. had told us that he would perform the surgery himself ,but at somebody else's clinic as his's was not equipped well enough for such a surgery. He had operated upon both the eyes of my husband  around six months back. We had been going to this Dr ,as a family ,for the last twelve years so there was not much to think about. Still I wanted  to discuss this with some other Dr and have his opinion on this. It being a week end nobody was available and at best you could have the general physicians in the the hospital emergencies.

As Paulo Coehlo had said that if you really want something then the whole universe conspires for you. Sunday evening one of our very close friends arranged for a meeting with a Dr friend of their's. Our son and me rushed to meet her . She turned out to be a wonderful person and then the next bomb fell on us .

 Our Dr was not a retinal surgeon and he was not qualified to perform such a surgery!!!

I have realised that the activation of  my brain somehow is directly proportional to the magnitude of the adversity.I deeply thank God for this.
 Another retinal surgeon was contacted through this new Dr friend of ours and really the universe conspired and the operation was performed the next day  by a qualified retinal suregeon.

Aamir Khan is doing a show 'Satyamev Jayate'.I like the show a lot . He is making a genuine effort in trying to present the not so happy to know facts on national television. It is indeed a commendable job and results are showing. Not that no one else has done such efforts . It is just that some one else ,too is doing his bit .
 I asked myself why did our Dr. do such a horrible thing to us? for the faith we had put in him for the last twelve years?

Just for money? Not wanting to let go of anything that you can grab?
 Making money is fine. But making it at the cost of somebody's life...?
Ethics,moral,money, how easily allow  themselves to be drowned in all this.

But Drs they are more than the ordinary men. They have as much of right to make money as anybody else but they must NEVER do so at the cost of other's life