Saturday, February 20, 2010

Talking Grief

''Pooja, there is a sad news-Monica has lost her child. She 's had a miscarriage yesterday night.''spoke Akarsh to his wife. Monica was going through a difficult pregnancy and was confined

'to bed for the last four months. Sadly she had to lose it thought Pooja.

''Are you going to see her today?''asked Pooja

''I want to but Im not sure. The others here in the office very strongly believe that she should be left to herself and we should go only after some days. What do you feel I should do Pooja?'' Monica worked in the same organisation as Akarsh.

Pooja paused for a moment and said ''Id go if I were you. ''

''Wouldnt that be intruding on one's privacy in an awkward situation?'' asked Akarsh thoughtfully.

'' May be , may be not . I choose to go for the may be not option. I feel reaching out to our close ones at the time of grief is essential on our part. If this is not taken very nicely by the concerned person we can always apologize and back out ,without feeling guilty about it and if you decide to go Id like to go with you .''replied Pooja.

''O.K. then lets go in the evening.''

Both of them reached the hospital where Monica was admitted. They went straight to her room,knocked and went in.Monica smiled at them . They went and sat near her and held her hand . She just started talking of how the day was the saddest in her life. How she did not know what to do to ease the pain ,how much she was looking forward to holding her baby and on and on she went. She has a very loving husband who was also talking so naturally about the whole thing that it was amazing how such sad things ,such personal things could be spoken of so naturally . Pooja and Akarsh stayed there for some time then took leave leaving Monica to rest . Monica and her husband thanked them for coming and expressed their appreciation for the thoughtfulness.

On their way back Akarsh and Pooja discussed that how nice it was that they had gone to see Monica and that their going had done her some good. They realised that may be Talking Grief is the best way of dealing with it. We try to suppress grief, hide grief with various justifications but talking grief is dealing with it head on and so is the most effective.

Talking Grief not only helps the sufferer but also strengthens the bonds between their close ones. Grief brings people closer and talking grief also causes the least damage .

Monica had really shown them how easily you can talk grief.

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