Love Marriage Arranged Marriage....

Priya was celebrating her birthday...she had made arrangements for a party at home..She had been wanting to call her friends over for the time that she had taken up a place of her own.So it was to be a House warming cum Birthday party.She had invited her close friends..about 10 in all. The party was going to be special also because one of her childhood friends was going to get married-3 weeks away. She had ordered food but the dessert was being made by Swati ...the girl getting married . Swati had insisted on taking charge of the dessert section. Priya knew how excited was Swati about her forthcoming marriage and in her sweet way was trying to learn making some special dishes ,two out of which were to be presented tonight. Swati 's marriage had been fixed by her family and she was very happy with their choice.

The party was on..Everything was taken care of...Swati had been helping Priya with everything ...Friends had come and there was laughter ,music and merriment. Dolly had flown down from Bangalore for the week end for this get together ...she had another interest too..she would get to spend time with her boyfriend too so Dolly was snuggling up with Harsh and everyone was having a great time..
Dinner was announced...food was excellent ..was being relished by one and all. Then Priya announced that the best was yet to come ...The dessert was prepared by Swati....there was a big cheer and the tempting gorgeously looking dishes were laid on the table. Everyone gave out cries of appreciation and jokingly Harsh told Dolly,''Swati has been at cooking ,getting prepared for marriage .have you started too?''Pat came Dolly's reply,''Swati is having an arranged marriage...I will have a love marriage. She needs to learn to please her new family . Thankfully I would not need to do any such thing...so why should I be doing all this?'' ''Love or arranged any kind of marriage would entail eating ,Dolly so?''quipped in Priya.''well Harsh will see to that ..thats not my problem'''sang Dolly and gulped down a generous spoonfull of the chocolate mousse...

Swati was thinking about the conversation, lying on her bed late night. Was she doing it to please her new family because it was going to be an arranged marriage? Just because Dolly had found her life partner before marriage , did she not need to please anyone ,as she had put it? Swati was confused at the inferences...what was the difference between Dolly and herself? Both were friends ...same generation ..then ?

Slowly slowly peace started setting upon Swati's face ...she had got her answers ....
She concluded that she believed that it was not just a person that she was going to marry ...to possess...she was marrying into a family which would henceforth be her new home. She had learnt from her mother ,seeing her all life doing things for her loved ones. She had learnt the joy of caring ...doing ...serving ...making extra efforts to do things for the people who are her partner's family...would be loving him in the true sense . She did not want to love where it meant possessiveness and made her narrow minded. She remembered her mother saying once,''Swati, the relationships that you make on your own, the ones that you take upon from your loved ones willingly ...always putting others before you ....will actually reflect the person that you are from heart. Always have a large heart and try to encompass more and more....I never think of the wealth that I could leave behind for you for I do not have much...but I would always want to leave behing a big big flexi heart filled with love ....for you to carry on giving out love and joy to all.''
''Yes Mom...I too want to do the same. To love my new family from the core of my heart...because I know it is going to be my family....''Spoke Swati in her heart and went off to sleep with a sweet warm glow on her face. She had her sympathies for Dolly's thoughts.....

A Perfect Gift

Rohit had been thinking for the past few days....he wanted it to be different ...his wife's birthday this year ....as it was her first after their marriage.He took her shopping....made plans for a nice dinner....suddenly he was excited on getting an advice from his sister....''Do something yourself ''she apparently had suggested...''like what ''...''well like bake a cake!''The idea appealed to Rohit a lot. He came to his mom in the evening,''can you help me bake a cake mom?'' On hearing about the idea Pooja felt very happy ..She readily agreed on helping Rohit with it.

Came the day ...Rohit rushed backhome early that evening...Pooja had made all the arrangements for him ..and Rohit baked the cake with Pooja's help...The cake turned out perfect...

At the stroke of midnight the beautiful cake was laid on the table...Pooja told Ria , Rohit's wife,that the cake was baked by Rohit.The expression on her face was apt for the Visa Master Card ad....Somethings are Priceless....Pooja looked fondly at the loving glow on her son's face....She looked at her husband and she could read the same satisfaction in his eyes too ...the satisfaction when you see your children happy ...God's blessings on you to see the things you value, in your children...

Pooja was filled with gratitude towards the God Almighty that she could see that her children had understood and had valued the art of Doing something Yourself to show your love.....

Money has immense power ...no doubts about that ...but money should never be my master...should never have the power to enslave me ....make me weak...

Pooja had seen her children rating this simple home made cake much higher than the best of cakes from the best of bakeries that any amount of money can buy and this was the reason for her contentment...for she always believed that money should help one do more rather than make one do less. Money is the means ...to strengthen oneself rather than weaken and any amount of money can not bring the happiness that one can get by ''Doing ''something for love....

Order and Disorder

Hi I m Cheeni......the little girl blinked at me smilingly....She is a ten year old...cute girl...with a label of Down syndrome. It is said to be a disorder....incurable,but if understood correctly can be dealt with....The word disorder....I was looking at it with a new perspective....what is a disorder ...anything that is out of the normal range of human behaviour qualifies for this term...the normal range ...again is decided by man ...you have to do so as everything is relative...to understand Day one needs to know Night...similarly anything that does not subscribe to our accepted parameters ,is said to be a disorder....

I was trying to understand this....I was thinking we have pass and fail catagories in our academics....anyone getting marks above 40% is said to pass ...anyone getting below that fails....I was thinking about the 39% and the 41% ones....how much of a difference is there between them ...not much in terms of capabilities and performance....but a sea of a difference in their catagories....one has the stigma of a faliure and the other has the distinction of having passed....

God has created this amazing world...most of it we do not understand..but there are certain things that we know are not in our hands ...like having a child like Cheeni....does it sound cruel? I dont know....what I know is that what ever we are and what ever we have ..if only we try to understand and work upon it correctly ,we can change the results dramatically...Mahatma Gandhi had rightfully said...condemn the wrong not the doer...for if we condemn the wrong and try to better it , instead of spending our lives shunning the doer.we can bring about a lot of positive change in the situation in turn affecting our own selves positively....

If only we understand this simple connection between our thoughts and our fate,probably we will try to always find ways to solutions ,rather than be stuck to the blame game syndrome and ruin our own lives.

All The Best...

Aditya was working very hard. He had his class xii boards coming up ...then the engineering entrances ...he had his own dreams and was putting his heart and soul to fulfill them. He was pretty satisfied with his preparations but ...there was a big BUT ...it was chemistry . He just wasnt able to get as much confidence in this subject. This would haunt him off and on and he would come up to Reeti ,'' Mom what if I mess up this subject? ''and Reeti would draw him close to herself and say,''Do not worry ,Aditya ...you wont mess it up. You are putting in so much of hard work ...that will not go waste.'' This assurance had the desired effect on him but for not too long. Reeti was also worried about her son's confidence and did everything to keep it up.

The exams started...as luck would have it Reeti was taken seriously ill....out of the blue came the bolt...she had to be hospitalised in grave condition. Reeti was in pain...but what was paining her more was that she could not be with her son when he needed every bit of comfort and love...He was writing his exams ....taking care of his little sister Ria....and his mother was fighting for her life ..in the hospital with her husband by her side. what adifficult time it was for each one of them but God had wished it so....

The days went past by ...exams were getting over ..and tomorrow was Chemistry. Reeti was going out of her mind. In such grave situations where Reeti would never let her husband out of her sight for he was her strength....he always was her confidence but that day with a very strong heart she forced her husband to go and spend some time with Aditya. He returned after a few hours assuring her of Aditya...The children had sent hand made cards with heart felt messages...Ria had sent two small soft toys...two pups...as her luck charms...All of this filled Reeti;s heart with joy....But....still she had no peace..Those days the mobiles were even not heard of ..she was confined to bed with needles all over and a saline continously going into her veins....There was a telephone just outside the room but how could she reach there ? with all these needles? Reeti was very restless...

Came the evening and in walked her Dr. doing his usual rounds...after her check up Reeti asked him if she could do without the drip now? The Dr. was surprised but when he heard that why Reeti was wanting to go up to the phone he said kindly,''Reeti be patient and sensible please. Two more of these bottles need to be pumped inside your body which would take at least till tomorrow evening...so please understand ..the speed of the saline cannot be increased as it will be very painful for due to prolonged usage most of the veins are blocked so please be a good patient.'' THe Dr. smiled and went away. Reeti had already made up her mind. The next 24 hrs. would have to be compressed into 10..and that had to be done...She slowly increased the speed of her saline ...she did it gradually ...it hurt but no the excitement had started ...she had a race to win and that kept her from feeling the pain. Reeti did not sleep the whole night....7 Am Aditya would leave for his exam...just a few hours to go and the liquid was steadily pouring inside her veins....Her eyes were fixed on the solution level ..they only moved to check on the clock on the wall...It was 6:55 Am when the sister came in and smilingly removed the saline...Reeti was out of herself ...She was literally carried out of the room by her husband to the phone...it was ringing...God please make him pick up ....and then ''Hello'' ''All the very best to you beta''came a feeble voice and Aditya stood there smilingly with tears rolling down his eyes...''Mamma I love you''''I love you too beta''and Reeti fell down in her husband's arms ..She had done it ..she had wished her son and she thanked God before she was carried back to bed.....

Stress...The Silent Killer

Each man is a link and an important one at that, to the society he is a part of.I keep hearing of this word-Stress at various levels, from various ages and from uniformly everywhere. I think stress is consequence of a situation where there is a lack of resourses to do the job.Sources could be varied ...could be the person ,his want , his understanding , his capacity,his efforts ,his supports etc...all of which work to get the job accomplished. This unaccomplished job with time gets piled up increasing our problems and then come the excuses , blames and their kin to justify our failures...making us aggressive in protecting our defence.Clinging to this state day in and day out tires our mind and this is what we call stress.All these blames and justifications do not lead us to our desired goal ,infact take us so much away from it increasing our unhappiness and helplessness. Ironically we take to cribbing and self pity and every undesired feeling leading to more and more stress. Why cant we think of Solutions ? we keep ourselves happily stuck with the problems...if only we become solution seekers,the results will be so much better than otherwise. If we understand the responsibilities of self ,we can do a lot better . If each one of us is always aware of his own duty towards his own self ...to keep oneself happy then all these selves together can lead to a much better society. But what we all tend to do is always holding others responsible for our situations . Of course no one can be isolated from his surroundings but h e at least can keep doing his bit even when everyone around has stopped?
Another strange thing that I see is the mix up between our Rights and Responsibilities which also is a chief cause to stress. We have to understand that each one of us is responsible for his own self and that is how it should be...as naturally as we eat ,drink and sleep.Achild should be spoken as to why is he being helped with all his work during his early days ... but he should be told that he has to learn to be responsible for his self..he should know that he has to go to school to learn ...do all his jobs because they are ...his...taking care of his clothes , toys .books ,room table shoes ....everything has to be done by his own self because that should be as natural as anything to do .But do we do that ? No we do our children's jobs...odd things here and there conveying that he has no need to tend to himself .The child should be taught to manage his work , duties ,play, pleasure properly and that he has no option of not accepting his duties. ...the child then learns to optimize himself. Then they dont feel burdened at any point of time because doing their duty becomes a second nature to them . Probably then we may hear a lot less of this contageous word -stress-It makes so much sense in breaking one's head to find solutions to our problems rather than breaking it due to stress...what say????????

A True Gift......

It was Ravi and Rinki's wedding anniversary...Their two kids Trishna and Khushi wished them in the morning with kisses and a cute hand made card with their love and feelings expressed in simple words . Ravi and Rinki were overjoyed with the card and it's expressions...hugged them and then sent them off to school. The kids returned home excitedly as they knew that like on every occassion ,they would have guests in the evening. Guests meant their friends accompanying their parents and for them that is all that mattered . So they finished off with their studies to be fully prepared for the blast in the evening . Rinki was busy in the kitchen ...she knew that all their friends were going to come ,to wish them and that they would have dinner to celebrate. This was the practice followed by the group of friends ,for each one of them . There was no inviting anybody....you just came.So Rinki was busy cooking for thirty odd people or so ...what fun it always was on such occassions. .....
Came the evening and the friends arrived one by one...some brought flowers , some cards some balloons and the house was filled with joy and merriment.

The kids got busy running,playing screaming and by the time dinner was over it was nearing midnight. The party was a hit as each one of such get togethers always is...for they are filled with warmth, care and joy ...home cooked food dripping with love and this group always had such gatherings to share all the special occassions together..Much to the reluctance of the children the parents had to leave for home...next day school ,office...Ravi and Rinki went down to see their friends off, asking Trishna and Khushi to stay back to change and go to bed as early as possible.
After seeing everyone off within half an hour or so tired Rinki and Ravi came up...they were thinking of the mess waiting at home to be tended to ...the table to be cleared off..it would be a good 30-40 minutes at least before they could go to bed....They entered their house and what did they get to see? They couldnt believe their eyes...The table was cleared...the room was set back to normal with cushions etc at their right places ...the left overs were properly transferred into containers and put inside the fridge....Trishna and Khushi stood beaming there...they came forward taking their parents hand led them to the bed and said,''go to sleep,mamma papa..you both must be so very tired.'' Their parents looked at each other with eyes filled with joy and love...their little girls were so thoughtful....They pulled the daughters close to them and kissing them said...''Thank you''The girls kissed them back wishing them once again set off to go ...Ten year old Khushi turned back and said ,''everyone brought you a gift ...we did not get you any ...because we couldnt think what to get for you..'' Ravi smiled and said,''you have given us the best gift that anyone could ever give...the gift of thoughtfulness'' Rinki added,''and your gift is matchless for it came out of love..we are blessed to have such beautiful girls...Good Night..''The two girls ran off to their bed leaving the parents looking at each other with a mixture of feelings...love..understanding ..contentment and gratitude....

A Beautiful Smile....

They say that the second best thing that one can do with their lips is to....SMILE. well no need to fight for the first ranking but indeed smiling is one of the best things that all of us can do....easily...effortlessly. But you look around and you may not find people subscribing to this view. Today morning only I stopped to look at a child in his pram and he smiled back at me...LO! my heart just did a somersault...what a beautiful smile it was ...pure...simple ...straight from the heart. And what an effect it had on me!It made me feel so good....

I moved on ...I was on my way to office and my mind was just filled with that smile . I wondered that why are people so miser in using this beautiful art...of smiling? I remembered a friend of mine ...any time and everytime I could remember her ,was her eversmiling face ...that too the simplest ...warmest smile that could ever exist . I recalled our friends also saying that this friend Pooja was one person who always would greet you with a warm hearted smile ..making you feel welcome,comfortable and nice. But not many practise this ...imagine children waking up to such a smile , leaving home with such a smile ...returning home to such a smile and going to bed with the same smile...it would do wonders in all aspects of his life. why only children the same would be true for adults as well,wont it?
It is a different feeling altogether when you are met with a clean , pure warm and straight from the heart smile....what ever mood you may be in, it immediately connects ...warms your heart and lifts up any form of spirits at any point of time...
I have observed people very closely ...returning from office , work, anywhere ...not a trace of smile on the face or at most some signs of a forced smile (which looks so painful)....you are meeting your people after so long ...the best and the easiest thing you can do is to give a nice warm smile ....costs nothing but why so difficult then?

I think it could be because everyone seems to be struggling in his /her life. This struggle probably snatches away the smile and gradually we forget to smile...it becomes an effort to smile or it is used on festive or special occassions ...like we wear good clothes and deck ourselves up ...then we also put up the smile....sad very sad indeed. !!!!!! As life is a struggle, all the more we need to nurture this wonderful art of smiling,for it would help us in our struggle. Smile is a stressbuster...brings in a feel good feeling...which in turn makes us motivated and eager to keep going in life. Smile ...a real one is the fastest way to connect hearts...it is unbelievable and surest way to reach out to people...smile is a reflection of one's heart ...above all a smile brings a serene satisfaction and warmth on the bearer himself so let us all try practising this easy and sure way of bonding....just by SMILING warmly.....